Gavin Andrew Obregon

My Dearest Baby Angel Gavin,
It's only been a few weeks since we said goodbye, but the seven months we had together were filled with hope and joy for me, your father, Steven and your big sister, Savannah.
I was lucky enough to feel your kicks, especially late at light and after I ate anything exotic or spicy. I was so glad your father felt you move and the look on his face when he learned he would be having a SON! So proud. Savannah was able to see you on the monitor just 2 weeks before the appointment that changed everything. She was already planning showing you off around town and picking out music to play for you and new outfits to wear.
Then, something changed...I remember the weekend before my next routine OB checkup at 28 weeks that your movements had decreased. I was worried and concerned enough that I planned to go out and buy a home heartbeat moniter to ease my mind. I wonder now if I had done that if I could have saved you or if it was already too late. My fears were confirmed April 24 at 4:30pm first when the nurse, then the doctor couldn't locate your heartbeat. They didn't say right away what they suspected, but the serious look on their faces and the immediate scheduling for a scan sent me into a tailspin of worry. I sat alone in the room praying to God desperately and pleading through the tears to "Please let you be OK". As bravely as I could, I walked into the sonogram room and already felt panicked that there were too many staff on hand for this to be a routine check. The nurse made eye contact with the sonographer..after holding up an empty tissue box signaling silently with her eyes that "we'll be needing more Kleenex". She already knew. Then once the exam began, I looked desperately on the monitor for signs of movement - but saw only the slow floating of your body. Then the tragic three words were uttered by my Doctor of "no cardiac activity" which sent me into a wave of shock..then numbness. The following hours and days were a bit of a blur, trying to cover the pain in my voice when your Daddy called me only minutes after I learned you were gone. He sensed something was wrong and all I had to say was "Well, it's not good." I didn't even have to tell Savannah, just the look on my face as I came into her room told it all. We both held each other and cried. The next day, it was very hard walking into the maternity ward, past the nursery, knowing that I would be leaving the hospital empty handed. Over the next 24 hours, I labored and delivered you silently into the world. The doctor confirmed that the cord was wrapped around your neck and was undoubtedly the cause of your demise. Then I didn't know what I'd want, whether I could handle seeing you or whether it was better to only have living memories. In the end, after the nurse brought you in and placed you in my arms, I was so glad to have the closure at holding your small perfectly formed body. At only 1 pound 10 oz. you looked like a doll, with my lips and your fathers long feet.
Your Daddy and Grandparents made all the funeral arrangements and your Daddy even made the silk flower arrangements himself for your casket and ornamental stands. Your sister took the photos to record your memorial and Father Klein officiated your service.
We will be side by side at the family plots one day, but until then you'll carry on in my dreams and memories. I love and miss you Gavin.
Your loving Momma